Opportunity missed??

This has never left my thoughts since that day. It was just 1 day before the deadline that we got to see the circular about the opportunity. Needless to say, mind started wavering and immediately calculations were made as to is the money enough? Well it was enough. Then the question of "important" semester ahead came forth. Will i be missing this important semester at my institute and will i be missing on some of the important things that might happen in sixth sem. These thoughts were overwhelmingly strong that day and hence i decided to talk with my parents and Sangram, before taking my own decision.

Parents as always were very very supportive. They were ready for any financial commitment or anything apart from that too. But as always, the ultimate decision was left to me, which was indeed very nice of them. Then i spoke with Sangram on phone about the whole thing. He had been there for 2 months and was the best person to consult about the standard. Even the financial aspect was spoken about and both of us agreed that it is not much pain. In the end, it was just about going away in the most important semester or not going away. According to both Sangram and me, it was best to stay here. That night i slept in peace and had already decided that i am not going anywhere.

Next day at lunch there were these rumors of infinite junta competing for the 10 places at stake. Siva had decided to apply, Nikhil too. They were all there. Suddenly there was this terrible feeling that why the hell am i not going then?? I was confused like hell and decided to do some more thinking. I wanted to think what so many people had thought which i might not have!
One more day passed in this.

Next day, pretty cheerful about the decision i had come to at night, early morning at 9 i went to HOD and told him that i wanted to go. HOD just smiled and said, the Dean is finalising the list now, you are late!
I am late???!!! The deadline was not clearly mentioned anywhere in the circular which came to us. It was shown late to us and i did expect them to give us 2 days atleast to think! 2 days is not a lot!!! SHIT i am late???

I was totally psyched and i didnt know what to do. Never ever the thought of going and talking to the Dean crossed my mind. Never ever the thought of saying i needed more time to think to the people who mattered ever came to my mind. I was just standing there in aero office, all helpless! Sat down on the sofa outside HODs office for 5 minutes and thought about everything i could do. Came to the conclusion that i could have done nothing!

Then it was the usual comforting yourself when you have lost something. I thought about the things which i was thinking just 1 day back. Thought about that conversation with Sangram and the way i thought it was not worth going away from 6th sem at IITM.
I wonder even now as to why the hell did i take that 1 extra day. Why did i just not say "NO im not going" and stick to it. Why did i change my decision that night and went and spoke to HOD next morning. Why did i fall for it if i was sure i didnt want to go.

Was i sure in the first place? I dont think so. I think i just needed more time to decide and sadly that was what mattered in the end. The list got finalised. We had 1 guy from aero going there.

This was a brief account of what exactly happened in those 2 days. The days when the notice came that NUS (National University of Singapore) is taking exchange students for one semester. The criterion for selection was pretty obvious from the outset, CGPA. Mine being the highest in my department i was sure to go to NUS for 1 sem if i had applied...I DIDNT GET A CHANCE TO APPLY!!!
I didnt talk to the Dean that day which i should have. Forget talking, i didnt even think of anything like that!!! Where the hell does my brain go on important occasions!!!

Did i "just" miss a great opportunity? Oh and yes it still seems just a yesterdays thing.
I hate you GT for reminding me!! :(